Zebraman

Zebraman (David Wine), Heavy Metal Parking Lot (1986)

Zebraman is famous for his "Heavy Metal Rules!" monologue in the 1986 documentary...

Heavy Metal Parking Lot (1986)

Zebraman's Words of Wisdom were immortalized a second time in the 2019 Steel Panther album 'Heavy Metal Rules' named after the philosophy of the Zebraman. The first track of the album is the first 32 seconds of his epic speech and is named "Zebraman".

Here is the
Zebraman 42-second monologue "Heavy Metal Rules!"

“Heavy metal rules! All that punk shit sucks! It doesn’t belong in this world, it belongs on fuckin’ Mars man! What the hell is punk shit? And Madonna can go to hell as far as I’m concerned! She’s a dick! Seriously! [Hits self in mouth with microphone] Ow! Heavy metal definitely rules! Twisted Sister, Judas Priest, Dokken, Ozzy, Scorpions. They all rule! [Takes break from rant to acknowledge nearby stoner girl] Yeah, she’s tripping Jack Daniel’s. [Resumes rant] It all rules! All that shit rules! This punk shit, circle shit and the dicks and all, that can all go to hell! I don’t care, you know? I don’t really give a shit about that kind of punk fuck!”

Zebraman (a 22 years old drunk Metalhead in 1986)

What the fuck happened to Zebraman 13 years later?

Zebraman (real name David Wine), as of 1999, is a Baltimore plumber into country music, stating he wasn’t really into metal anymore.)

Yes, Zebraman, the most convincing of them all, was in fact a poser.

ZEBRAMAN HALLOWEEN COSTUME

Sources and related links:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heavy_Metal_Parking_Lot
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heavy_Metal_Rules

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/kick-asphalt-remembering-heavy-metal-parking-011429186.html
https://greenandblackmusic.com/home/2017/02/03/heavy-metal-parking-lot-judas-priest-1986/

Steel Panther - Heavy Metal Rules [Official Video, lyrics & T-shirt]

A really nice music video with a lot of boobs!!!

Steel Panther - Heavy Metal Rules (Lyrics)

Couldnʼt make no money as a singer Didnʼt seem to get too far
So I sell pot brownies and Vicodin From the back seat of my car Movinʼ back to Chicago
Gonna rest my achinʼ head Spotify took my last 2 cents And the butter for my bread

Gene Simmons said it Rock and roll is dead

I never did it for the money I only did it to get laid
But I canʼt buy shots for the ladies If thereʼs no way to get paid
Now I canʼt get make money on my good looks Canʼt make it on applause
So I sell nose beers to the kiddos And thumb my own nose at the laws

But Iʼm never ever gonna stop playing Even though rock and roll ainʼt paying Cuz heavy metal rules
Heavy metal rules Heavy metal rules
And everybody else can suck my fucking dick

Gonna make my money stealing hub caps
And selling black tar on the streets Taking handbags from old ladies
While they respond to Trumpyʼs Tweets Apple came to town a ringing
A death knell for the band
If I canʼt make money selling records Gonna make it any way I can

And Iʼm gonna keep on rocking your ass
As long as Iʼm on the right side of the grass Cuz Heavy Metal rules

Heavy Metal rules
Heavy Metal rules!
Madonna, she’s a dick!
That punk shit belongs on Mars!
Dokken, Van Halen,
They all fucking Rule!!!!
And everybody else can suck my fucking dick